You Make Sense

Regret can be painful, especially when you look back at relationships you pushed away or opportunities you let slip by. But it’s often only after something is over that you begin to truly understand what happened and find yourself wishing you'd made different choices. In this episode, Sarah explores why we sometimes sabotage the very things we want most, and why blaming ourselves afterward only deepens the pain. She explains how nervous system dysregulation and protective parts can shape our behavior, making it difficult to recognize these patterns while we're caught up in them.

Every living thing is meant to become more fully itself, and the same is true for you. In this episode, Sarah explores what it means to live a fully expressed life and why so many of us feel stuck, inhibited, or unable to expand into the relationships, purpose, creativity, and aliveness we deeply desire. Using metaphors to break down complex science, Sarah explains how the nervous system can block the very things you want most because they carry echoes of what once felt unsafe.

Do you tend to focus on what’s wrong more than what’s working? In this previously-released top episode, Sarah unpacks why our brains and bodies are wired for negativity — and why that doesn’t mean you’re broken or ungrateful. This survival mechanism is actually rooted in the nervous system, which means we can’t just talk or “think” our way out of our experience.

In our modern world, we can be quick to throw around labels. But not every person who shuts down, struggles to apologize, or pulls away in relationships is a narcissist. In this episode, Sarah uses parts work to break down what narcissism actually looks like, how these strong protective parts develop, and why they seek out codependent dynamics.

So much about the process of healing and coming into wholeness can feel different from what you might expect. Sometimes moving forward means feeling more anxious, sensitive, angry, or uncomfortable than before. In this episode, Sarah explains the counterintuitive nature of healing and why coming back into your body can bring unresolved emotions and pain to the surface. This does not mean you are going backward!

Have you ever wondered why you consistently assume the worst is going to happen? In this episode, Sarah explores why you may struggle to break negative thinking patterns and how this might be impacting your everyday life. This cycle cannot be solved by simply trying to “talk” your way to more positive thoughts, but instead must be addressed through the nervous system.

What does a young child need when they are in distress? Not an explanation, but the felt experience of safety and connection. Developmental trauma is stored in the body, which means logic or rationalization isn’t enough to create lasting change. In this episode, Sarah explains how early experiences shape the nervous system, why attachment wounding becomes the blueprint for adult relationships, and how we project our past onto the present.

Science and spirituality are not inherently opposed, yet the world often insists on positioning them as such. In reality, the culmination of both science and spirituality is one of the most powerful tools we have for understanding ourselves and fostering growth. In this episode, Sarah shares how she moved into a deeper understanding of connection, consciousness, and what healing can look like when we work with, rather than against, our nervous system.

If you are trying to “talk” or rationalize your way out of anxiety, fear, or hopelessness, you might be speaking the wrong language to your nervous system. With the understanding that every part of your lived experience is rooted in the body, Sarah explores the fundamentals of the autonomic nervous system and how you can step into the driver’s seat by learning to speak to it in a way it understands and responds to.

Why do we keep getting in our own way, even when we genuinely want to change? Behaviors that we use to numb or sabotage can feel frustrating, but Sarah explains why these are actually intelligent survival responses. You’ll learn the reason patterns like avoidance, overworking, doom scrolling, and overeating develop, and why simply “trying harder” isn't enough to create lasting change.

So many of us believe we’re connected to our intuition when, in fact, we may be experiencing a trauma response. In this episode, Sarah explores how to distinguish between your highest truth and a truth rooted in self-protection. While every sensation or feeling we experience is a truth to a part of you, it might not actually be the truth of your adult self.

What happens to the emotions you never allow yourself to feel? Suppressing feelings may seem like the safest option in the moment, but that doesn't mean they disappear. In this episode, Sarah explains how emotions that weren’t safe to express can become stuck in the body, why so many of us lose touch with what we're truly feeling, and how this can shape our relationships, physical well-being, and sense of aliveness.

We often assume our emotions and reactions reflect the truth of the present moment. But in reality, our perception of ourselves, others, and the world around us is entirely shaped by our nervous system. When we’re triggered, our system is essentially “time traveling” back to the past, drawing on painful, unresolved experiences to inform how we interpret and respond to the present.

Should you stay in your relationship or leave? It's one of the most common questions people ask when romantic partnerships become difficult. And even though it’s natural to turn to other people for advice, the truth is that no one else can answer that question for you. Only your adult self knows whether it’s time to leave. The challenge is that younger protective parts often show up in our relationships, influencing these decisions out of fear or self-protection.

So many of the painful patterns we experience in life seem impossible to break, no matter how hard we try to change. But what if those patterns are not a reflection of who we are, but rather subconscious survival responses shaped by experiences from our past? In this episode, Sarah explores the trauma feedback loop and explains why the nervous system often seeks out and recreates familiar dynamics, even when those patterns continue to cause pain and keep us stuck.

Friendship plays an essential role in living a full and connected life. But in a world that often prioritizes romantic partnership above all else, the importance of community and platonic intimacy is frequently overlooked. In this episode, Sarah explores why community and platonic intimacy are essential to overall well-being and why expecting one person to meet all our emotional needs can leave us feeling disconnected and alone.

What does it mean to live a full life? Humans are incredibly complex beings who need a multitude of things in order to thrive, like community, partnership, purpose, and nourishment. In this episode, Sarah breaks down the positive impact of having ambition, the dangers of prioritizing striving above all else, and why you might find it difficult to create balance in your life.

Many people believe finding the right partner is a matter of luck. But what if who you're drawn to is shaped by a blueprint for love you didn't consciously choose? In this episode, Sarah explores how the nervous system influences attraction and the patterns that keep us choosing the same kinds of relationships despite our best intentions.

Do you ever feel like your body is the enemy? Maybe you’re holding weight despite rigorous workout routines or you always get sick right before an important event. In this episode, you’ll learn how trauma gets stuck and stored in the body and why many of the symptoms you may be experiencing are actually loving forms of self-protection.

Do you find yourself stuck in the same patterns or struggling to know what your truth is? This is often a sign that you’re not actually in the driver’s seat of your experience, but rather, that a younger part has taken hold of the wheel. In this episode, Sarah breaks down the basics of parts work, how your protective parts developed to keep you safe, and why the person your parts are waiting for is you.

What if, in every ending, we were able to find and experience a new beginning? Big life changes mean that something has to end — whether that’s shifting the dynamic, saying goodbye to an old routine, or deciding to leave a relationship. Sarah examines how everything in nature is always in a state of change. So if resisting change only causes us pain, how do we actually begin to allow it instead?

What if fantasizing is actually keeping you from the life that you want? On the surface, focusing only on the things you desire can seem like a positive thing, but in reality, it’s often a sign you have a protective part running the show. Through the lens of parts work, Sarah unpacks how fantasizing parts protect us, why they show up, and how not processing the past will inevitably lead to more suffering.

Have you ever found yourself abandoning your own needs and desires to keep others happy? Maybe you don’t even know why you’re doing it. In this episode, Sarah explores what fawning is and why it happens. She shares her own experience and explains how this self-protective behavior develops, often in early childhood, as a way to keep you safe.

What if your level of financial abundance isn't tied to your bank account or your hustle but your nervous system's capacity to hold wealth? In today’s episode, Sarah explores how you can step toward more freedom around money by working with your nervous system and parts. Using nature as a blueprint, she will show you how to connect with your own natural rhythm of giving and receiving.

Do you avoid conflict, shut down, or expect the worst when tension shows up in your relationships? In this episode, Sarah explores why conflict can feel so scary, especially when old relational wounds get activated in the present. She explains that ruptures or disagreements are actually a normal part of any close relationships, and why the people we care about most often bring up the parts of us that still need healing.

Do you ever find yourself getting frustrated with, or even hating, certain patterns? What if the key to healing was falling in love with the parts responsible for these protective behaviors? In this episode, Sarah begins by inviting you to reflect on how harshly you may speak to yourself and explains why you might actually be talking to a younger version of yourself. You’ll hear a brief overview of what parts work is and the importance of unburdening these brilliant protectors.

Many of us feel a responsibility to stay informed and bear witness to what’s happening in the world. But what is that level of exposure actually doing to your nervous system? In this episode, Sarah explores how the rapid rise of technology, social media, and AI has outpaced our biological capacity to process information, leaving many of us overwhelmed and dysregulated. She explains why consuming large volumes of distressing content can lead to shutdown, and why more information is not the answer.

Have you ever wondered how to step into the life you desire? More often than not, the things we want most will require our greatest healing. We may worry that resistance means we’re on the wrong path, when, in fact, it’s often a sign we’re going in the right direction. But many of us get stuck there without the right tools and support.

Putting other people on a pedestal or becoming infatuated may seem harmless, but when you do that, you actually disempower yourself. So why do so many of us find ourselves idealizing other people in our lives, from friends and colleagues to romantic partners? The answer lies in your nervous system and protective parts. They believe that if the most perfect person can choose you, then that means you’re lovable.

Why does holding onto traumatic experiences keep you from feeling fully alive? In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah unpacks why nervous system safety is the foundation of both healing and creating the life you desire. She explains that unresolved trauma gets stuck and stored in the body, and later in life, when anything reminds your nervous system of that experience, it reacts as if the danger is happening again in the present.

Why do the patterns we most want to change keep showing up in our lives? In this episode, Sarah unpacks how behaviors like self-sabotage, perfectionism, or avoidance are actually rooted in younger parts that developed to keep us safe. Many of us come to parts work or IFS with an agenda to just “stop the pattern” — but that is actually not very effective. Real healing begins when we shift our focus from obtaining an outcome to understanding the deeper needs of the parts carrying our pain.

If your relationship feels harder than you expected, it may not be a sign that something is wrong. It may be a sign that something unresolved is surfacing. As attachment deepens, the nervous system stops seeing your partner as a stranger and begins linking them to early family experiences. Wounding from childhood comes alive in the present, and couples often mistake this activation for incompatibility.

Why does connection activate our deepest fears, even when we’re in partnership or community with safe people? Living a fully expressed life comes down to a few foundational components, including the freedom to fully be yourself with others. In this episode, Sarah explores how your nervous system, early childhood experiences, and unresolved trauma shape the way you show up in love, community, and with yourself.

Manifesting the life you desire isn’t a matter of willpower. When your nervous system doesn’t feel safe, positive thinking and affirmations simply aren’t enough. In this episode, Sarah unpacks the science behind manifestation, why it can feel so hard to step toward our calling, and why mindset strategies alone rarely create lasting change. She explains that what blocks you isn’t a lack of belief, but a nervous system wired for survival.

Feelings of shame, anger, and unworthiness do not persist because you lack insight. They persist because the body never got to finish what it started. When overwhelming experiences force you to shut down, internalize, or inhibit a response, the stress cycle remains incomplete. The energy of that moment stays active beneath the surface, shaping your reactions and your sense of self.

Why do so many people feel invisible or emotionally alone in their closest relationships, even when love is present? In this episode, Sarah explores how relational loneliness is shaped by early lessons learned by our nervous systems, and how this defines what connection, safety, and intimacy feel like long before adulthood.

Why does healing still feel out of reach for so many of us, even after years of insight and therapy? Because just understanding our past, while important, does not change what’s happening in our nervous system. Real healing begins when we work with our nervous system and parts to show them that we’re safe now. In this episode, Sarah explains why insight alone cannot resolve trauma and why healing must happen through gradual, tolerable action.

Have you ever found yourself losing touch with who you are once you’re in a relationship? In this episode, Sarah explores why this pattern is so common, how it often begins in childhood, and why prioritizing connection and safety can override our own needs over time. Through a nervous-system and parts-based lens, Sarah unpacks how protective parts develop to help us survive, and how codependent patterns in adult relationships show up.

Have you found it difficult to change your thoughts or beliefs simply by trying to “think” differently? Cognitive approaches, like mindset work or talk therapy, can have many benefits, but they often fail to address what’s actually happening in your nervous system. In this episode, Sarah discusses the origin of limiting beliefs, why we can’t just force ourselves to be positive, and the steps necessary to shift our thoughts.

There comes a point in the healing journey where, once you have enough internal safety and regulation in your nervous system, it no longer becomes about just “doing the work.” You must also focus on your living. In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah unpacks the other side of trauma and the relationships, purpose, and community that can be discovered during your post-traumatic growth period.

Finding a healthy relationship does not make old patterns disappear. In many cases, it actually reveals them more clearly. In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah explores why partnership can feel so hard even when there is love and a genuine desire for connection, and why struggle in a relationship is not a sign of failure but an opportunity for even deeper healing.

Your relationship with time and the way you perceive it is a direct result of what’s happening in your nervous system. Whether you are in alignment with the natural unfolding of your life, or you’re always in a hurry and feel like everyone else is passing you by — it all starts with the beautiful self-protective system inside you.

As the year comes to a close, you might be reflecting on why you still feel stuck, even after doing “all the right things.” In this episode, Sarah explores why effort and willpower alone often aren’t enough to create real change, and how the nervous system can keep you running without actually moving forward.

Most people think setting boundaries is just about deciding when to say “no.” But this process is actually a somatic one that starts with first knowing our internal truth. In this episode, Sarah explains why we might lose contact with our truth and how childhood experiences shape the way we set boundaries in our present lives.

The world has done us a disservice by teaching us that we’ll magically love ourselves if we just “tell” ourselves how lovable we are. But the only way to wholly and fully come into self-love is to first fall in love with your younger parts. In this episode, Sarah offers an in-depth understanding of parts work, the different kinds of younger parts who inhabit your experience, and how to begin supporting and finding compassion for them.

The pressure to lead well often collides with the longing for a full and joyful life. In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah explores why so many leaders, parents, and helpers feel split between success and aliveness, and why that tension usually traces back to a dysregulated nervous system and our protective parts trying to keep us safe.

Building deeper intimacy often begins with understanding why it brings up so many challenging emotions. In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah explains how early experiences of being unseen, misunderstood, or emotionally unsupported can create protective strategies in adulthood, ranging from siloing different versions of ourselves to avoiding closeness when we feel exposed.

Why does it feel so urgent to keep everything tidy and on schedule, and why is it so hard to let go, even when you are exhausted? In this episode, Sarah explores why so many of us turn to control as a way to maintain safety, and how this pattern is rooted not in personality flaws, but in a dysregulated nervous system doing its best to protect itself.

Why do relationships often feel effortless at the start, only to become more challenging as we grow closer? In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah unpacks why deeper intimacy activates the parts of us shaped by our earliest wounds, and how to move forward together. She explains why our nervous system begins to associate a partner or close friend with our family of origin, causing old fears, protector parts, and unresolved emotions to surface just when connection starts to matter most.

Do you tend to focus on what’s wrong more than what’s working? In this episode, Sarah unpacks why our brains and bodies are wired for negativity — and why that doesn’t mean you’re broken or ungrateful. This survival mechanism is actually rooted in the nervous system, which means we can’t just talk or “think” our way out of our experience.